| Profile | Concieved by means of a bizarre Duncan clan highland marriage involving his Mum and Dad (who are also his Cousin and Uncle) and a set of bagpipes. Strangely, he only seems to have been selected for the teams which he organized himself. Clean-living Neilly's perfect spoken English and tactical astuteness made him the natural choice as manager. His organizational ability was also highlighted in the 2003 season, having failed to arrange the opposition's post-match food, he quickly appeased discontent by generously laying on one bag of salt and vinegar crisps and two packets of dry-roasted peanuts.
His ability and dedication have now established him as a longstanding favourite with the fans, particularly because his Dad has been the only fan ever. Last seasons Opta statistics recorded that 93.9% of his first touches resulted in a throw-in. Fears on the terraces that his recent marriage will affect his stamina this season have so far proved to be unfounded, in fact if anything he drinks and smokes more than ever. |
